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Deceptive Body Language 101

Body language is part of non verbal communication and is integral to building intimacy. According to Psychology Today Canada, communication can be broken down into 55% body language, 38% tone of voice, and only 7% of actual words spoken. When deepening our intimacy with our partners, it’s important to understand nonverbal cues that illustrate our internal thoughts. How many times have you told your partner little white lies to avoid conflict? How many times do think you’ve been lied to, but felt the lies weren’t exactly little OR white? Try asking your partner some questions and evaluate their body language based on these 3 cues. If you can’t explain their behaviour based on context, you may have more digging to do.

CUE: They cover themselves up. According to Business Insider, protecting your throat, chest or head can indicate deception. Because these are all vulnerable zones on the human body we naturally hide them when feeling threatened. Being exposed as a liar is stressful and triggers that fight or flight instinct to protect ourselves. Watch out for someone who may be quick to take cover.
CONTEXT: When conversing with your partner are you using accusatory and aggressive language that would put them on guard? Remember that when you begin a conversation, your nonverbal communication is just as important as there’s because you set the stage for how the interaction will begin! Cue dismissed?

CUE: Verbal vomit. Does your partner go on and on when answering a simple direct question? Business Insider also says that over elaborate responses to questions are suspicious. By adding excessive depth to stories and casual conversation, we may think we are being convincing. But the reality is that this may just be a way that liars try to make their stories more believable to themselves and ultimately easier to rehearse when under scrutiny.
CONTEXT: Did you ask your partner easy, direct, questions or were they broad with multiple areas that open up discussion? If you are digging for specific information ask simple questions so you can focus your energy on their responses. There’s a big difference between asking why someone was late coming home at night and asking how someone’s day was and what they got up to. Also, is your partner the chatty type that dominates conversation? Or are they the quiet type with an uneventful job? Cue dismissed?

CUE: Their eyes are shifty. The Science of People agrees that darting eye movements or hidden eyes can point to a liar. Fight or flight responses cause us to to subconsciously scan our surroundings and literally search for physical ways out of uncomfortable interactions. If we can’t find an exit we may just hide our eyes altogether. Liars who don’t like what they hear or see can cover their eyes to lessen the guilty feeling of deceiving others. They want to feel less present in unpleasant moments.CONTEXT: Did you ask your partner sensitive or embarrassing questions? Are they generally reserved as it is, and would they typically behave this way anyways? Are they of a cultural background where eye contact is considered rude, or do they wear contacts or is it late at night? Cue dismissed?

Regardless of the truth of these cues, your own intuition is the most important tool. You know your partner best and if you found these cues difficult to dismiss based on context, investigation services are here to help. See our contact information to speak with the team to gain more insight on the little nagging suspicious before they become big problems down the line.