Before we dive into the serious topic of infidelity and why people cheat, we would like you to know that Investigation Hotline counsels people to communicate and salvage their relationship with their partners before we commence an investigation.
There are many questions surrounding cheating and very few conclusive answers. The most reoccurring question is: why do we cheat? Many people hypothesize and are able to share anecdotes, but is there a fool-proof answer to that question? There may not be, but below are a list of reasons that cannot go unrecognized:
1) A “cheater’s high”. Sometimes it’s the thrill of being bad and knowing that you’re doing something you’re not supposed to do. Almost like a “runner’s high”, cheaters may be going for that adrenaline rush at the expense of their relationship and their partner.
2) Insecurity. It may seem counter-intuitive that someone insecure is more likely to cheat, but individuals who are not trusting of their partner are more likely to worry about being abandoned and therefore more likely to try and find comfort outside of the relationship. It often happens in retaliation to something that hasn’t happened yet or may never happen at all.
3) Our phones. Particularly for an individual who is insecure (whether with themselves or their relationship), a digital device is notorious for pulling attention away from the moment and away from your partner. Having to fight a cell phone for your partner’s attention can cause insecurity and even feelings of abandonment.
4) Physical or emotional neglect. Whether they are actually experiencing this, if someone feels as though they are being physically or emotionally forgotten about, they may turn for comfort outside of their relationship. Not feeling appreciated or seen can lead to infidelity.
5) A desire for the relationship to end. Cheating on your significant other and having them find out may seem like an easier way out of the relationship than being honest about your feelings. Some people may feel that sabotaging their relationship is preferable to initiating an awkward or painful breakup. They may also feel like less of a bad guy if they aren’t technically the one who “decides” to end the relationship.
6) Is it in our genes? Promiscuity may run in your family. Tendencies to cheat have been linked to a dopamine receptor gene in our DNA which we inherit from our parents. Seeing as dopamine release is linked to motivation and rewards, someone with this gene may be more likely to cheat for an extra-sweet dopamine release.
It can be hard to accept that your partner may be cheating on you. But you don’t have to face it alone. If you are looking for proof of your partner’s infidelity, call Investigation Hotline for professional help.