Identifying Emotional Infidelity

March 24, 2020

Before diving into emotional infidelity and the havoc it can bestow on a relationship, we want to point out that it is always best to try to repair your relationship. Take actions to better yourself and your partner before resorting further recourse that may end your relationship.

Emotional infidelity occurs when one partner has feelings for and shares emotions with someone outside of their relationship, and because of this, they become emotionally unavailable and their primary relationship consequently suffers. Because emotional infidelity often does not include physical touch, many do not consider it to be a form of cheating. However, it involves the partner maintaining an intimate relationship outside of their committed relationship, which by definition is considered cheating.

Because emotional infidelity is not physical or sexual in nature, it is not as easily recognizable. However, this type of affair can be just as damaging to a relationship due to the intimate level of lying and betrayal. Sexual infidelity can involve physical elements with little or no emotions, whereas emotional infidelity betrays the unique emotional bond that should be protected and celebrated in a monogamous relationship. And while emotional infidelity does not always lead to a physical affair, it often does. When one partner begins to share their intimate desires, fears and feelings with someone else, their main relationship will start to break down.

While it is more difficult to identify emotional infidelity than physical infidelity, there are several tell-tale signs to watch out for if you suspect your partner of being emotionally unfaithful. Watch out for these warning signs:

  • Are they constantly in communication with someone else? Are they constantly texting someone or emailing someone back and forth? They may also be sharing less and less with you, like their victories and their concerns, because they are now sharing these thoughts and emotions with someone else.

  • Are they having long conversations alone? If your partner is sneaking off to have long phone calls or meet-ups with someone else, this may be indicative of an emotional affair. If they are valuing time with this new person, they may be developing an emotional bond that could be a threat to your relationship.

  • Are they receiving or giving gifts behind your back? If you notice that they suddenly have new, unexplained jewellery, gadgets or clothes, they may be getting these from someone else. Additionally, be wary of money spent on items or dinners that you never see or aren’t a part of.

  • Are they ditching their regular activities? If your partner stops coming to your regular dinner dates, pilates class or lunches with your parents without having a reasonable excuse, it might be cause for alarm. They may also be leaving work early and spending considerably less time at home with you.

  • Are they in constant communication with an “old friend”? Emotional relationships often spring up with “old friends”. Even if this person isn’t an old friend, it could be an excuse that your partner uses to make their relationship with this person more legitimate and acceptable. It could be a ruse to fool you into letting your suspicions go.

It is slightly more difficult for a private investigator to identify and prove emotional infidelity since physical intimacy is not involved, but it is not impossible. It can be proven through electronic communication or by time spent alone with that person (among other telltale signs). A private investigator can surely gather the evidence of lying and deceit that you will need to confront your unfaithful partner. Contact a PI today and get your investigation started.

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